I Play World of Warcraft

My main is a rogue…not just any rogue. A damn good rogue. An almost level 90 epic kinda rogue.  I also have an 85 warlock, priest, druid, and deathknight.  I’m not ashamed. I am a mom, a wife, a student, a CNA, and I play wow.  A lot of people are shocked when they find out.  Like its some dirty secret to be hid. Why? I don’t go out and drink. I don’t have the money to do that kind of thing. Instead, my husband and I play wow together.  Its creative. Fun. Hilarious.  We pick, and cut up like teenagers.  We attempt to beat each other in ways that are not humanly possible.  We troll chats, and have a general great time with the other people we play with. We have even met, in person, with several of the other players. *gasp* I know, its just awful.

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We’ve met some interesting people.  We have played, on and off, for a little over six years.  I love the pop culture references!  Characters with names like Swayze (Point Break) ,or Harrison Jones( Indiana Jones), epic quests chains, world bosses, and now playable pandas. What more can you ask for?

Over the years, I have always been a gamer girl.  I played” Asteroids” on my Atari. I played “Mario” on my Nintendo. I even had an old TRS-80 computer. I played “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego”, “Leisure Suit Larry”, etc on my Tandy 1000.  Even got a Super Nintendo later on.  I have always loved role playing games, Final Fantasy and Suikoden have created warm fuzzy memories in my heart.  My husband and I have bonded over our love of games, we spent many a night sitting up with strategy guides trying just one more time to beat that boss!  Now, my children share that love with me.  We do other things as well, go to science centers, museums, parks, play outside….but nothing beats a rainy day indoors sometimes, just listening to my daughter playing final fantasy 7, yelling at the screen because the story line just got real, and playing warcraft.

Costumes…..WTF Happened?

I know, as a parent, I have made some mistakes. Everyone does.  The one thing I am very careful of, is not gender stereotyping or sexualizing my kids.  I will never tell my four year old son that he can’t paint his nails, or play with a doll, or that he has to play sports. I will also never tell my almost twelve year old daughter that she has to wear dresses, makeup, or needs those things to be “pretty”, or that she cannot like Star Wars or video games. Why do people feel like it is okay to send these messages to our kids?  When you walk through a typical toy aisle in any department store, everything is so gender segregated.  Its ridiculous. I remember playing with all types of toys, as my kids do.  Recently, stores have begun to put out Halloween costumes. Its my favorite time of the year. I love Halloween. Its magical to me, to dress up and have fun, and get candy. So when I walk into the store and costumes actually have the words “boy” or “girl” on them, its so disheartening.  To see that my daughter can have the choice of a short skirt, or a shorter skirt is just sad. Why?

http://www.spirithalloween.com/girls-costumes/

My son, who loves trucks and cooking, painting and dirt, legos and dollhouses, can be five different types of soldier, ninja, cop, or fireman. Where’s the choices for girls?  Its not a fair world, and I never expected it to be, but if enough people complain, maybe something will finally get fixed.

http://www.spirithalloween.com/boys-costumes/

I can’t even bring myself to look at the “tween” costumes. Like an Adam and Eve store ad. Sick, and just awful. Wear it as an adult, fine. Stop putting 12 year olds in knee high boots and short skirts.

Whatever Happened To…..

So, I am cruising through channels the other day, and come across, to my horror, yet another remake of a beloved childhood cartoon and movie series. Yes, I am talking about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I loved the turtles as a kid. I still do. I have all the movies. I had the turtle van, and all the action figures (with real karate chop action).  Nickelodeon  has, in their infinite wisdom, decided to do a newer version. The turtles look smooth. They’re apparently now from outer space, no ooze needed. What? Trust me, I’m just as disappointed.

In the last few years, they have also revamped Rainbow Bright, My Little Pony’s, Thundercats, Smurfs, Strawberry Shortcake,  Pound Puppies, Alvin and the Chipmunks,  Garfield, Transformers, and even GI Joe. Why mess with greatness? Why feel the need to make the ponies skinnier and taller? Weren’t they cute enough?  Does this lead down to the fact that now everything skinny is better? How does this affect kids watching cartoons now? Theres so many questions.  I loved the original versions of all of these cartoons. I love Boomerang, it shows the cartoons in there original versions.  I could deal with some of these, Thundercats and Transformers look cool, but man, messing with the turtles is just low.

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Kids Will Be Kids….Right?

My kids are growing up. I mean, really growing. My daughter will be twelve next month. Twelve!  She is almost as tall as me, and of course, has hit that awkward hormonal puberty body gone crazy stage. She is slender. I think she is the most awesome daughter a person could have. Sarcastic, intelligent, funny. Amazingly well-adjusted considering her parents.

My son is four, will be five in February.  He’s getting taller. He’s loud, like all four -year- olds.  He’s losing that baby face. He can do everything himself, or so he says.  He is learning in daycare how to write his name, his letters….when did this happen?  He’s such a happy boy, always laughing and full of fun.

I know they all grow up, but it seems like it happens over-night.   They learn so much, so quickly. They see way too much in society. Its difficult to keep them children in the days they’re growing up.   Before long there will be driving, dates, high school, college, and who only knows what else…..

Noise

Everywhere, noise…..noise! I feel like the Grinch from the cartoon. Trying to do work. Trying to get homework done, and look things up I need. Kids running and playing. Screaming. Dog is barking. Husband is loudly listening to music. The Offspring, I love them, I do. But for crying out loud people. NOISE!!!!! Everywhere! Arg!

Its sad, I’m normally not like this. I’m the parent buying the drum set. Having a parade through the house, banging on pots and pans. The one time I am trying to concentrate, and ugh.  My A.D.D. can’t take it. Like waving something shiny in my face. Or fluffy. It really doesn’t take much to lose my concentration….yet hear I sit, attempting to find something, and instead I write. Oh well. There’s always tomorrow.

Florida

I just got back from Florida. It was epic, and sad. I picked up my moms ashes. Her cremated remains.  What do you do with this small brown box? How does one little box contain all that a person was?  My friend and my uncle went with me. My moms brother. He is amazing, and funny. We went back to his apartment, and he gave me childhood pictures of her to use in a collage.

Then, we explored Orlando. I love it. Its gorgeous. The neighborhoods, the parks, all just breath-taking.  Now that I am home, I yearn for that fresh breeze.  It makes me sad that we don’t have anything like that here in my small town. No free parks with live music “just because” on the weekends. My children have nothing to do, unless we go several towns over.

Maybe, just maybe, one day I can move….

This is the park two blocks from my uncles house, so pretty.

Hospice Family

I work for hospice. Not a county hospice, but a small for profit hospice company. I don’t really know how I ended up here, I wanted to be a marine biologist as a kid. That being said, I’m here, and I cannot imagine myself doing anything else. I love my job. The people and families I meet are amazing. We are helping through one of the most difficult parts of life; death.  It is never easy.  At times, once the end is near, its a blessing when they go.  I have the wonderfully difficult job of providing personal care to my patients. I help them bathe. I feed them. I dress them. I rub their back and hold their hand. I take them out into the sunshine, and share jokes and laughs with them. I enjoy their company, and mourn a loss of a friend when they pass. I love my job, and it has really changed my outlook on life in general.  I have really found my calling.  Recently, losing my mom has put me on the other side of things, but working where I do has helped me to cope and deal with things.  I also have to say, I am lucky to work with the best group of people ever.  I love all my co-workers, they are amazing. We enjoy each others company, and get along great. We really are a team, and take care of our patients accordingly.

Music Night on Facebook

I am sitting here, for the last few hours, probably driving my friends crazy posting youttube music videos on facebook. Why? I really don’t know. Sometimes I just get in a mood. I listen to everything. Really. Well, except country. I have posted everything from nine inch nails to primus, to prodigy and soundgarden.  I just like music.  I like it even better when its interesting, or strange. Maybe throw in a creepy video. Rob Zombie, here I come.  I think some of my friends have now taken me off of their news feeds, which is cool. I understand. Maybe System of a Down isn’t your thing. Godsmack was too weird or heavy for you. All good. A well rounded music collection makes a person sound-minded. You have a soundtrack to your day.  A good day? Throw in some Beatles, maybe some old 80’s Culture Club or B-52’s.  A bad day? Sing along to some Janis Joplin, goes right to your soul.  Feeling a bit angry? Have some Kittie, or Rage Against the Machine.  I’m just rambling here a bit, I really do love all music, and you can tell the mood I’m in by what I’m listening to. I even have my old 50’s Elvis and Richie Vallez days. My life has been so influenced by the music I grew up listening to, especially going through grunge, alternative in the 80’s and 90’s as a teenager. Nirvana was amazing.  It changed my entire outlook as a kid, to see that no, you don’t have to fit this cookie cutter mold of a girl, or life. I see music now and thank my lucky stars I grew up in the time I did. There is no originality anymore. Same old lyrics, same old beat. Less clothes, less meaning, less words. Makes me sad that people will not have another Tori Amos, or Trent Reznor. There will never be anything lasting and brand new, never heard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee6xkwVucIE&feature=artistob&playnext=1&list=TLhWeBuIvpd_8

Mom

Image

I heard a knock at my door around 4am a few days ago on the 29 of August. Its never good news at that time of the morning. When I saw my grandparents there, my heart sank.

My mom has been in really bad health for the last few years. Shes only 49, but very over-weight, has heart problems, lupus, diabetes…I just knew. I knew. They told me she had a heart attack during the night and died at the hospital near Tampa. They left. I began the calls.

Calling, calling, all morning. The hospital, her boyfriend of 12 years, my sisters, my family, I cried while trying to talk, calling funeral homes. They were patient, and nice. And expensive. She had no plans, or insurance, money put back. I had some luck with the Medical Examiners office finally, after a few hours.

I’m still crying, on and off. Its hard to mourn someone you’ve talked to on the phone but haven’t seen face-to-face since 2001. I will miss her, but more I will miss what could have been. She’s never seen my four year old son, nor my daughter since she was less than a year old other than pictures. She never got to see my now grown sister that was removed from her custody at age five, and is now eighteen. 

I will go down to Florida, in a few weeks when all is said and done, and bring her home. I will plant her ashes with violets at her mothers grave, where she wanted to be, and have a small memorial for her at my grandparents house. 

http://www.the-dispatch.com/article/20120830/OBITUARIES/308309991/1001/obituaries

My uncle tried to do her obituary, he got it mostly right. She would’ve liked being a year younger, I think.

 

Clothes for School

So, I have an almost 12-year-old daughter. She’s modest. Shes adorable. Just the right bits of sarcasm injected with geek chic and intelligence. I love my daughter, shes the best daughter for me. So why, oh why are marketers attempting to turn her into some dumb trashy dressed bimbo with no brain? Why are all the kids clothes made like street walkers?

Shorts in sized 4t  to a 14/16 are cut right below butt cheeks. Shirts are cut low. Don’t even get me started on the thong underwear and padded bras.  Shirts have awful sayings on them like “I’m too pretty to do math”. What? WHAT? It make my head want to explode. Everywhere I turn there is this pink pretty princess monster looming. I don’t have a problem with pink. I do have a problem with dolls dressed up in tiny too tight clothing and full makeup. I do have a problem with it being perfectly okay to be dumb as long as you’re pretty. I also have a problem with people making clothing that is too revealing for my 11-year-old daughter to wear. So, we are shopping for school this year at no big name stores. I refuse to buy it.

In a perfect world, she’ll never see ads for weight loss plastered everywhere. Or half-naked jersey shore kids making clowns out of themselves for fame. I might not be able to hide all of that forever. But for now, the victory is mine, in the form of knee-length shorts, cute capri’s, and appropriate looking clothing.

 

http://abcnews.go.com/US/abercrombie-fitch-padded-bikini-top-year-olds-parents/story?id=13236904#.UCwhIaA4n1o